The Cause of Jealousy: Lack of Self-Confidence, Not Love
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- The Cause of Jealousy: Lack of Self-Confidence, Not Love
Psychiatrist Dr. Selin Baran from Private Moodist Hospital specialists He made explanations about our social attitudes and our subconscious with jealousy.
Overly Jealous People Are Insecure People
Extremely jealous people have the idea that others are superior to them. They go crazy with the suspicion that their lover or spouse may be with someone superior to them. In general, jealousy in relationships can be defined as a complex psychological experience experienced with the thought that a person or relationship that is not wanted to be lost will be lost or threatened.
Jealousy has nothing to do with love
In society, jealousy is caused by love and being in love too much. However, jealousy is not a sign of love. Love is a feeling of extreme affection and devotion. It is to be expected that people worry about losing the person they love, are in love with and possess. Therefore, some jealousy between two people who truly love each other is normal, but possessiveness has nothing to do with love. Jealous people have an extreme need to be loved, and because they cannot cope with their feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, they do not want the person they are in a relationship with to share their love with anyone else.
Jealousy Caused by Lack of Self-Confidence
Jealousy involves a lack of self-confidence and feelings of inadequacy. When there is a lack of self-confidence, the person starts to feel inadequate, worthless and insignificant. He thinks that he does not deserve the love he has, that he will lose his partner and worries. This anxiety leads to jealousy and unhealthy behaviors to cope with it. The excessively jealous person constantly controls and follows his/her spouse, limits his/her life and puts pressure on him/her, thinking that this way he/she will not lose him/her. Stalking, pressure, anger and suspicion caused by the anxiety of jealousy pushes the other person even further away.
Women and Men Are Jealous in Different Ways
In men, jealousy is mostly caused by the thought that there is a sexual shift in their spouse and that they may have sex with someone else. In women, on the other hand, jealousy arises from the thought that their spouse may have an emotional shift. The thought of their spouse falling in love with someone else dominates. Men get angry, shout and show aggressive reactions when they are jealous. Women, on the other hand, cry and feel sad. In general, men get angry and women get hurt when they are jealous.
Jealousy May Require Treatment
Jealousy can reach dangerous levels. Listening to and following his/her spouse's phone calls, checking the curtains, bedroom and bathroom when he/she comes home, looking for a meaning behind everything he/she says is a dangerous dimension of jealousy and a behavioral disorder that needs to be treated.
The aim of the treatment is to uncover the feelings and thoughts underlying the person's feelings of jealousy. The person is asked to examine his/her thoughts at times of jealousy and to recognize the feelings that precede the jealousy. Recognizing these feelings and thoughts will allow them to be dealt with separately and to see more objectively whether they are rational or not. The underlying causes of the person's feelings of worthlessness should be explored. At this point, it is important both to identify the negative perceptions and needs that the person brings from the past, and to help them find healthier ways to cope with these negative emotions. “
